Ketosis and Shriveled Brain Cells

4-24-2014 11:15PM

A lot has happened in the time I've been gone. I still talk to my tulpa when my brain is functioning and I occasionally get feedback. This all started out as a way for me to get my memories back, so that's what I've been doing lately. I've changed my diet to exclude carbs and sugars. The keto diet. Life is a blurry dream to me, but I've noticed a few changes. I can remember my address and phone number of my childhood home. I started out at 135lbs and lost about 3lbs a week until I hit a wall at 125lbs. I basically lost 10lbs in a month, so I don't have that to worry about (yes, I still worry about ridiculous things).

Also interesting is that I am beginning to be able to write words in the air, rearrange the letters, and generally freak myself out more than usual.

164

Thursday, January 17, 2013, 2:41AM

Honestly, I had it.

I had a tulpa.

It was... how many weeks ago?

I was in the snow, just thinking. I had been narrating since that morning and it was a few hours before noon.

There's something calming about snow. Usually, it blinds me, but it must have been especially cloudy that day.

I could focus. I wasn't thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I didn't follow scenarios. I gave up on method and just did.

I took that day slow. Nothing was stressful. There was nothing to do and I was ready to be torn from my comfort zone and thrown into the unexpected and unscheduled.

Her voice wasn't how I rehearsed. It was one I had heard frequently in music and enjoyed. I must have grown attached to it.

I expected to be shocked from hearing the voice, but I was more shocked that something I worked at actually came through. I expected the voice to be louder.

I didn't doubt myself. The voice was real. Effortless and fast in its responses, but I had to remain in conversation or I felt that it would go away. After a few days, there was no more voice.

Honestly, I am in denial.

First it is denial. Then I am angry. Then I am at war. Then I want peace, so I leave it all behind me.

1

Saturday, March 24, 2005
Lately, I have been thinking of creating a thoughtform.  They call them tulpas.  Basically, tulpas are imaginary friends on steroids.  Tulpas develop their own personalities and can speak to you in a way a separate entity would.  I've never been one to be normal.  I might have tried once-- I try a lot of things.

To create a tulpa, one supposedly needs to go through intense meditation.  This meditation first involves visualization of the thoughtform.  Once every three-dimensional detail is memorized and can be pictured at will, the creator endows the creation with textural feeling in order to be able to touch it.  The other senses are added progressively in this manner.

The creator then gives the tulpa energy by casually visualizing it in daily life.  Once that is natural, the creator has dialogues with the tulpa until a response is heard.  This seems possible.  I'm going to try it-- it's what I do.  I have the absolute worst mind for this, so if I can do it, anyone can.

I want to be another piece of proof that this is possible.  There will be many obstacles in this experiment.  I will not mention them all here, but I must say that I am at a disadvantage.

Why am I doing this?  I don't know.  I don't want to do this for the wrong reasons.  It is like having a child for all of the right reasons-- we have to know why.  I have been thinking deeply on this and this will be a topic in future logs.

So far, I am still deciding what form my tulpa will take.  I am indecisive and this is an important choice, but I have been focusing on a single general idea for about three days.  I have not done any meditation sessions yet, as I am still a full-time college student.  I predict that progress will exponentially increase during the summer.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/03/2.html