Wednesday, August 1, 2012, 2:08AM
I just remembered something relevant to the placebo post a while back. It is dangerous. If you dabble in this stuff, you will start to apply it to other areas of your life, such as happiness. If you ever get in a deep depression in life, you might try to get out of it by faking happiness, only to face the truth and plunge into depression again, but when you emerge, you may never be completely certain if the happiness you feel is real or not.
But don't let that stop you from fighting the good fight. To all people, their own strategy.
Progress: No speech. Listening and narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/08/1312.html
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
130
Tuesday, July 31, 2012, 10:17PM
Nothing was prepared for today's post, so today's post simply keeps the record going and keeps all (ten to twenty?) of you in anticipation for updates.
Progress: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/131.html
Nothing was prepared for today's post, so today's post simply keeps the record going and keeps all (ten to twenty?) of you in anticipation for updates.
Progress: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/131.html
Monday, July 30, 2012
129
Monday, July 30, 2012, 9:25PM
I was going to talk about the placebo effect, wasn't I? The placebo effect is the bane to all psychological theories, but it can also be manipulated. You know what I mean, right? We know that if a result is expected, then we can basically create that result. It's fake progress, but it's progress.
Trick Placebo
Let's assume that 90% of all people believe that Scar-Be-Gone, my made-up (as far as I know) and self-explanatory skin cream, notice an improvement in their skin quality. Why? The active ingredients include the the hope that you take good care of your skin in the applied areas, the time it takes for your natural processes to heal a scar, and the product name. Mostly the product name. You will look in the mirror and smile because your eyes see what you want them to see (and we aren't even branding a belief into our subconscious on purpose, like we do with tulpae). You are sure the product is working, so you walk out the door with a smile on your face, lower stress, and it is contagious. Everyone is smiling because you are smiling. You get a complement on how good you look and you are sure they aren't focusing on your scar.
What does this have to do with tulpae? I touched on it a little in the example, but I'll delve deeper into it here. Sometimes we want a placebo effect and sometimes we don't. Here's something interesting, the miracle placebo.
Miracle Placebo
Scar-Be-Gone. You use it. You believe in it. It works... because it is increasing the elastin and protein quality of your skin. Your microcirculation is also becoming that of a healthy child. What just happened? Scar-Be-Gone happened without any physical active ingredients. For some unexplainable reason, your body made the repairs. Yes, psychology is mysterious. Faith is mysterious. There may be an official name for it somewhere, but I'll call it the miracle placebo.
This is not what I want to happen when I create a tulpa. When I create a tulpa, I want there to be belief, yes. I want to fool my brain, yes. I don't want to, along the way, believe that my parroting is actually my tulpa. I am also wary enough of the placebo effect that I am worried that I will disregard signs of progress. Let's manipulate the placebo law to our advantage, shall we? Let's make a miracle placebo. When we see monks or spiritual masters, we don't see them as having comfortable lives. They put themselves through mind-wracking situations in order to strengthen their minds. Kill bad brain cells? Make better neuron connections? Drive out other thoughts? I don't know. One theory I have is that they wear themselves down so that they can be subjected to influence (placebos). Of course they will have visions if they starve themselves in pitch-black caves. They take from their visions enlightenment and achieve progress.
Where was I going with this?
Nowhere, really. It's not like me to do anything but think. I was thinking that I might also be able to apply this concept to remembering things, but then I would create for myself a fake past, which won't go well. Faking photographic memory will cause me to hallucinate (see Don Quijote). I've already tried faking the time in between daymares before (somewhat*) by telling myself how great is was that those days were over. We both know how that turned out (for those who think I am talking to myself, I am talking to the future me who will read this later).
*I actually thought it had been a while because I have a skewed concept of time due to forgetting. I was extremely social at the time, so I wore myself out enough for the 'long time' since my last daymare to be partially true at least. I was congratulating myself, in a way, by being relieved that things were finally settling down. I guess I warped the saying, "It gets worse before it gets better."
Progress: No speech. Narrating. Listening.
I was going to talk about the placebo effect, wasn't I? The placebo effect is the bane to all psychological theories, but it can also be manipulated. You know what I mean, right? We know that if a result is expected, then we can basically create that result. It's fake progress, but it's progress.
Trick Placebo
Let's assume that 90% of all people believe that Scar-Be-Gone, my made-up (as far as I know) and self-explanatory skin cream, notice an improvement in their skin quality. Why? The active ingredients include the the hope that you take good care of your skin in the applied areas, the time it takes for your natural processes to heal a scar, and the product name. Mostly the product name. You will look in the mirror and smile because your eyes see what you want them to see (and we aren't even branding a belief into our subconscious on purpose, like we do with tulpae). You are sure the product is working, so you walk out the door with a smile on your face, lower stress, and it is contagious. Everyone is smiling because you are smiling. You get a complement on how good you look and you are sure they aren't focusing on your scar.
What does this have to do with tulpae? I touched on it a little in the example, but I'll delve deeper into it here. Sometimes we want a placebo effect and sometimes we don't. Here's something interesting, the miracle placebo.
Miracle Placebo
Scar-Be-Gone. You use it. You believe in it. It works... because it is increasing the elastin and protein quality of your skin. Your microcirculation is also becoming that of a healthy child. What just happened? Scar-Be-Gone happened without any physical active ingredients. For some unexplainable reason, your body made the repairs. Yes, psychology is mysterious. Faith is mysterious. There may be an official name for it somewhere, but I'll call it the miracle placebo.
This is not what I want to happen when I create a tulpa. When I create a tulpa, I want there to be belief, yes. I want to fool my brain, yes. I don't want to, along the way, believe that my parroting is actually my tulpa. I am also wary enough of the placebo effect that I am worried that I will disregard signs of progress. Let's manipulate the placebo law to our advantage, shall we? Let's make a miracle placebo. When we see monks or spiritual masters, we don't see them as having comfortable lives. They put themselves through mind-wracking situations in order to strengthen their minds. Kill bad brain cells? Make better neuron connections? Drive out other thoughts? I don't know. One theory I have is that they wear themselves down so that they can be subjected to influence (placebos). Of course they will have visions if they starve themselves in pitch-black caves. They take from their visions enlightenment and achieve progress.
Where was I going with this?
Nowhere, really. It's not like me to do anything but think. I was thinking that I might also be able to apply this concept to remembering things, but then I would create for myself a fake past, which won't go well. Faking photographic memory will cause me to hallucinate (see Don Quijote). I've already tried faking the time in between daymares before (somewhat*) by telling myself how great is was that those days were over. We both know how that turned out (for those who think I am talking to myself, I am talking to the future me who will read this later).
*I actually thought it had been a while because I have a skewed concept of time due to forgetting. I was extremely social at the time, so I wore myself out enough for the 'long time' since my last daymare to be partially true at least. I was congratulating myself, in a way, by being relieved that things were finally settling down. I guess I warped the saying, "It gets worse before it gets better."
Progress: No speech. Narrating. Listening.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
128
Sunday, July 29, 2012, 9:29PM
I made it a point to meditate and narrate today more than usual. I had at least two sessions. They both started out awkward because I don't exactly have a lot to talk about at first. I don't like starting conversations with myself as the topic. I try not to make myself sound too important, but it is hard not to start a sentence with the letter I or make an opinional sentence sound like a fact. Maybe I am thinking too hard about all of this.
But let's not get off topic...
The sessions did not last more than twenty minutes each. I am losing momentum or something. Also, if I talk long enough, I tend to spill my guts out. Tulpae are caring, right? You care about you, right? I hate to be one of those philosophers who asks annoying questions in an attempt at finding answers, but...
What? Did you expect a thought-provoking question here?
Perhaps I mentioned before that I am losing motivation. If I didn't mention it before, you can rationalize two things. First, I am losing motivation. Second, I don't really know a whole lot about my own blog. In fact, whenever I read it, it sounds like I am reading about a close friend or someone in the news. I even have points where I feel denial that I am even making a tulpa, all the while frequently narrating throughout the same day.
This blog is mostly...
I am selfish. This blog is mostly for me to look back on and learn something about what I was like in my past. No one who makes a tulpa becomes a celebrity because of it. That's fine. I don't want fame. I just want simplicity, but my theory is that in order to gain simplicity without starting out with it, one must get ahead via strategic complications.
I am an introvert and I don't plan on complicating my future life any more than it already looks. Right now, my thought process is everywhere. For example, half the time, I leave typing to automatic processes while I focus my mental resources on strategies for how to cover topics efficiently. I don't even understand it, but I may as well type something I don't understand down and know that I will one day look back on something and make sense out of it. The point is, that I don't think many people analyze underlying mental processes much as I do. It is not only my mental processes which are being studied either.
Ahh, the thrill of decoding humanity-- treating them like logical puzzles instead of emotional creatures.
You think I don't have regrets for how I see things? I regret everything until I am nothing but wide eyed and heavy-hearted. I regret like I was born to.
You don't believe me? Go through my letters and tally up all the sentences that simply begin with I. If I reference you, I am referencing to my future self (myself), so that counts as well. Look back a few sentences and notice the invisible: "(You) go through my letters...". That counts as well. If I use the word me, that counts as well. I hope that by the time you read this again, you have recovered or you don't understand what I am talking about.
Returning to our subject on tulpa creation...
I knew this would be a long process when I began. At first, taking it slow sounded like a good idea. When my more-- abnormal-- characteristics sneaked their way on stage, I was tempted in rushing the process. I was both impatient and afraid. I am sorry if I got your hopes up. I apologize for gambling-- creating false confidence and promising optimism at the expense of being realistic.
I was originally going to speak with you about a taboo: the placebo effect. It will have to tie in later, though you can look at posts with this in perspective if you haven't been already.
Progres: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/129.html
I made it a point to meditate and narrate today more than usual. I had at least two sessions. They both started out awkward because I don't exactly have a lot to talk about at first. I don't like starting conversations with myself as the topic. I try not to make myself sound too important, but it is hard not to start a sentence with the letter I or make an opinional sentence sound like a fact. Maybe I am thinking too hard about all of this.
But let's not get off topic...
The sessions did not last more than twenty minutes each. I am losing momentum or something. Also, if I talk long enough, I tend to spill my guts out. Tulpae are caring, right? You care about you, right? I hate to be one of those philosophers who asks annoying questions in an attempt at finding answers, but...
What? Did you expect a thought-provoking question here?
Perhaps I mentioned before that I am losing motivation. If I didn't mention it before, you can rationalize two things. First, I am losing motivation. Second, I don't really know a whole lot about my own blog. In fact, whenever I read it, it sounds like I am reading about a close friend or someone in the news. I even have points where I feel denial that I am even making a tulpa, all the while frequently narrating throughout the same day.
This blog is mostly...
I am selfish. This blog is mostly for me to look back on and learn something about what I was like in my past. No one who makes a tulpa becomes a celebrity because of it. That's fine. I don't want fame. I just want simplicity, but my theory is that in order to gain simplicity without starting out with it, one must get ahead via strategic complications.
I am an introvert and I don't plan on complicating my future life any more than it already looks. Right now, my thought process is everywhere. For example, half the time, I leave typing to automatic processes while I focus my mental resources on strategies for how to cover topics efficiently. I don't even understand it, but I may as well type something I don't understand down and know that I will one day look back on something and make sense out of it. The point is, that I don't think many people analyze underlying mental processes much as I do. It is not only my mental processes which are being studied either.
Ahh, the thrill of decoding humanity-- treating them like logical puzzles instead of emotional creatures.
You think I don't have regrets for how I see things? I regret everything until I am nothing but wide eyed and heavy-hearted. I regret like I was born to.
You don't believe me? Go through my letters and tally up all the sentences that simply begin with I. If I reference you, I am referencing to my future self (myself), so that counts as well. Look back a few sentences and notice the invisible: "(You) go through my letters...". That counts as well. If I use the word me, that counts as well. I hope that by the time you read this again, you have recovered or you don't understand what I am talking about.
Returning to our subject on tulpa creation...
I knew this would be a long process when I began. At first, taking it slow sounded like a good idea. When my more-- abnormal-- characteristics sneaked their way on stage, I was tempted in rushing the process. I was both impatient and afraid. I am sorry if I got your hopes up. I apologize for gambling-- creating false confidence and promising optimism at the expense of being realistic.
I was originally going to speak with you about a taboo: the placebo effect. It will have to tie in later, though you can look at posts with this in perspective if you haven't been already.
I'm not getting any
No, you're not doing anything wrong. Some people don't get a feeling right off that what they're doing is paying off. I didn't get one, nor did I see any results until my first tulpa was showing signs of sentience. The feeling really doesn't mean much, I don't think it's a good indicator for anything because not everyone has it. In short, don't sweat it.alien feeling
, am I doing something wrong?
http://tulpa.info/guides/frequently-asked-questions.html#sec-2-4
Edit: I stumbled upon this and it seems to fit.
Progres: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/129.html
Saturday, July 28, 2012
127
Saturday, July 28, 2012, 11:06PM
Even though I narrate frequently throughout the day, it is a bit exhausting. It isn't very rewarding, either, which sort of saps the energy out of me. Every once in a while, I think I receive a 'clue' that I am getting closer to my goal. I've occasionally received head pressure, but I'm not convinced it is due to progress because it happens so infrequently. Don't get me wrong-- there is a good chance it has something to do with what I've been doing to my brain lately. I'm not prone to random aches, pains, or anything. I don't ever get headaches.
Going along with what I said about clues, my subconscious has been influencing me more, I think. What happened today that would be a good example for this?
I will see a word out of the corner of my eye, without being able to read it, then I will know how to spell it even though it is not an English word.
The days have been blending together (or over each other?) lately. Also, I am a bit frustrated. I feel blind. I wish I could relax. I wish for obvious, consistent, signs of progress.
Also, I think I feel closer to my tulpa when I am hungry. Am I the only one?
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/128.html
Even though I narrate frequently throughout the day, it is a bit exhausting. It isn't very rewarding, either, which sort of saps the energy out of me. Every once in a while, I think I receive a 'clue' that I am getting closer to my goal. I've occasionally received head pressure, but I'm not convinced it is due to progress because it happens so infrequently. Don't get me wrong-- there is a good chance it has something to do with what I've been doing to my brain lately. I'm not prone to random aches, pains, or anything. I don't ever get headaches.
Going along with what I said about clues, my subconscious has been influencing me more, I think. What happened today that would be a good example for this?
I will see a word out of the corner of my eye, without being able to read it, then I will know how to spell it even though it is not an English word.
The days have been blending together (or over each other?) lately. Also, I am a bit frustrated. I feel blind. I wish I could relax. I wish for obvious, consistent, signs of progress.
Also, I think I feel closer to my tulpa when I am hungry. Am I the only one?
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/128.html
Friday, July 27, 2012
126
Friday, July 27, 2012, 11:01PM
Nothing happened today except daydreaming.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/127.html
Nothing happened today except daydreaming.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/127.html
Thursday, July 26, 2012
125.2
Thursday, July 26, 2012, 9:27PM
Has anyone else ever felt a slight tickle in their head? It might have not been strong enough to be worthy of the title "tickle", but it didn't feel bad and it was in my head. It occurred when I closed my eyes and had a small narration while sitting. It was strong enough to become the focus of sensations in my whole body. Other people get pressure and headaches. I have never heard of this before.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/126.html
Has anyone else ever felt a slight tickle in their head? It might have not been strong enough to be worthy of the title "tickle", but it didn't feel bad and it was in my head. It occurred when I closed my eyes and had a small narration while sitting. It was strong enough to become the focus of sensations in my whole body. Other people get pressure and headaches. I have never heard of this before.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/126.html
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
125
Thursday, July 26, 2012, 12:50AM
I just wanted to mention that I still can't get over seeing images in my head. Still lines. Colors. The last image I saw had blue. It was a blue wolf. Wolves aren't blue, so this brings me to my next point. I may be seeing things that someone else wants to see. I didn't try to think of a blue wolf. It shares no connection with anything in my life or I would have had a memory trigger. Now that I mention it, it had wings for a bit as well, but the moral of this story still remains.
What if my tulpa is thinking of these things? I have been focusing on communication through speech, but what if my tulpa is trying to communicate in different ways? I would take anything right now. I am not going to put "maybe communication" in the progress for now because I am not gathering any information from the new images.
Progress: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/1252.html
I just wanted to mention that I still can't get over seeing images in my head. Still lines. Colors. The last image I saw had blue. It was a blue wolf. Wolves aren't blue, so this brings me to my next point. I may be seeing things that someone else wants to see. I didn't try to think of a blue wolf. It shares no connection with anything in my life or I would have had a memory trigger. Now that I mention it, it had wings for a bit as well, but the moral of this story still remains.
What if my tulpa is thinking of these things? I have been focusing on communication through speech, but what if my tulpa is trying to communicate in different ways? I would take anything right now. I am not going to put "maybe communication" in the progress for now because I am not gathering any information from the new images.
Progress: No speech.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/1252.html
124
Wednesday, July 25, 2012, 10:58PM
I'm not sure what to say. Oh. I can officially say my blog has thousands of views. Also, I am in a dead zone with narrating and I hope to be over with it. Maybe I'm burnt out. I don't know.
Progress: No speech yet.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/125.html
I'm not sure what to say. Oh. I can officially say my blog has thousands of views. Also, I am in a dead zone with narrating and I hope to be over with it. Maybe I'm burnt out. I don't know.
Progress: No speech yet.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/125.html
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
123
Tuesday, July 24, 2012, 10:05PM
Today (or was it last night?) I sincerely lost the hopeful feelings I had about all of this. I remember that the idea of creating a tulpa seemed completely possible for me, but now it feels like I'm narrating to no one. On the bright side, this may mean that what I was doing was working. I am feeling better already.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/124.html
Today (or was it last night?) I sincerely lost the hopeful feelings I had about all of this. I remember that the idea of creating a tulpa seemed completely possible for me, but now it feels like I'm narrating to no one. On the bright side, this may mean that what I was doing was working. I am feeling better already.
Progress: Narration.
http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/07/124.html
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