121

Sunday, July 22, 2012, 11:39PM

My tulpa is not speaking, but that's normal. I've been very busy lately, but not too busy to narrate in my head while in public. I also narrate aloud while driving. Along with the end-night session, it comes together.

Not tulpa-related:
I've been pondering life a bit, which is odd because I'm mentally exhausted. I've been thinking about a concept for a day or two so much that I figured I would put it down somewhere that wouldn't get lost. Actually, that's basically what Wintrovert is. It didn't start as anything more than that little voice in my head telling me I should just do something, but now I can use the site as a reference for thoughts that score higher in "sounds important" than "has practical use." I'm exhausted, but I'll try to get back on track.
This thought I was pondering, I was thinking that it must be important if it can be applied to every human case. I just want to make sense out of things.

Oh, by the way, this is how every person ticks:

I wish I could say that this is some phenomenal world truth, but let's just keep it as a humble life lesson which might be applied to people like me.

To say we have lived a fulfilled life, we must complete goals to increase our self-worth.
Some of these goals might be interests.
Interests fall into the category of skills, which can be sharpened with practice in an ideal world.
There are two types of interests: Gamble and ideal.
Gamble interests are interests that have no guaranteed 'skill-sharpening' mechanic. The mascot I will use for gamble interests is an inventor. Even after a lifetime of experimentation, the inventor might not have anything to show.
Ideal interests are interests that have a basic 'you get better at it' mechanic. Those who work hard, practice, or strategize efficiently will reap rewards.

I don't know where I was going with this. Don't I usually tie in tulpa or...


No. I think I just wanted to allow future-me to read this.

Yeah?

I saw an odd man with a carved branch (walking stick) talking to a cop this morning. A half-hour later, I was walking by this man. He was talking to himself. As I walked alongside him (it's what I do), his conversation merged to include me. His voice was shaky. He turned his left pocket inside-out and grabbed a pathetic handful of bills and change. He said it was all he had to his name. He said he would sell his hand-carved walking stick for two dollars. Keep in mind that it is a brilliant tactic to ask someone for two dollars. Asking for a specific amount of money is proven to work better than asking for money in general. I was already planning on paying him a five before he began his explanation on how long it took for him to carve it. Also, remember that in order to carve a walking stick, you must have a knife (not to mention he had a trimmed beard). Before I could walk away, he asked for another dollar from me. He told me it would be for booze. No mentally-ill man on the streets with a few dollars to his name would take a simple 'no' for an answer. Keep in mind that it is extremely threatening for a man in his position to break trust. Social protocol does not safely allow the additional appending of negative material onto an accepted contract. It was a safe hook for fine print, where if I was shown to be kind enough, he would ask for more. I told him that this world isn't like that. I told him something along the lines of the above and cautiously walked away. I was halfway to the next block when he shouted a thank you.
This story ties back into the daymare family. Usually, when I get involved with someone whose life is broken, I can empathize with them to the point where I feel how they feel based off of my past experiences and my imagination. So far, I haven't had any flashbacks where I relive the scenario or any daymares that force me to feel how he feels. 'He was lonely' sums up my psychoanalysis. That was all I gathered.

Also, this isn't helping me regain my trust in people. It only justifies my eccentric interests in social hypnosis, human studies, and psychology.

Progress: No speech. Personality narration.

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