69

Thursday, May 31, 2012, 10:43PM

Less vocal narration today-- more wonderland and visualization.  I had to bail out of wonderland twice-- the first time because my tulpa said something very out of character.  The second time may have involved speaking about something morbid (or am I confusing this with the first bail?).  I was in wonderland for about an hour, give or take ten minutes.  I was careful not to force my tulpa to do anything, but I lightly influenced facial expressions after some thought.  From then, I simply spoke small talk.
In wonderland, I got distracted by a social dilemma: I am sliding down a leaf slide coiled around a giant tree and there were others behind me.  I don't know who all has joined me (probably tree-dwellers, but I didn't get a good look at them), but there are several and they appear to be 10-15 year-old kids.  Eventually, there is a gap in the leaf slide and it is too far to jump over.  There is a single vine in front of me and I could swing safely to the other side, but that would prevent the others from swinging across.  If I left the vine alone and fell down, only one of the tree-dwellers would live on to make the same decision I made.  I did not recognize this as a reason I should abort wonderland because I was deep in thought.

If you didn't already understand this concept from an earlier post, I have a part of my mind that tries to blacken my thoughts.  I do not like the idea of good thoughts turning bad (who would?) and it is therefore out of character for me to think this way.  A theory I have of why I have a black part of my brain is that it is a survival feature.  I would not be having these thoughts if I lived in a utopia.  As I may have mentioned in previous posts, I am a strategist.  I try to consider the outcomes of situations.

What happened in that wonderland session with the leaf slide was (optimistically) my mind preparing me for a similar situation.  Now that I think of it, it could be a form of 'tough love.'
The reason I went into wonderland in the first place was to try out my experimental technique on vivid visualization.  I described it in a recent post.  Anyway, I didn't get to finish the technique because I was woken out early.

Progress:  Visualization is comfortable now.  I think I have caught up to how well everyone else did when they first started out.  Narration sounds much easier than visualization and is so far without problem.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/06/70.html

68

Wednesday, May 30, 2012, 9:07PM

I worked on narration and visualization today.  Personality has a foundation in four traits (kindness, intelligence, peacefulness, and thankfulness).  This foundation was partially designed by me to act as a safety precaution against mental corruption.  I assigned the traits specifically to prevent a sort of attitude that could rise above the limits I do not wish to be passed.  I created a symbol of sorts which represented the personality.  It is inspired by perpetual energy and includes swirling storm clouds, quiet glows of lightning, and rain.  Overall, it gives off a feeling of warmth and the other traits.  As far as I know, this personality-creation method is unique because I am choosing not to subject myself to the influences of other methods. 

Narration took place on a walk around the neighborhood.  It was a one-way conversation about what I should name my tulpa.  Since a few days prior, I am no longer limiting myself to a solitary hour.  I forgot to mention that I am going over two hours each day (and that is rounding down).  Today exceeded three hours.

Progress: In contrast to when I first started, visualization now falls under the category of 'possible'.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/69.html

67

Tuesday, May 29, 2012, 11:38PM

I'm a little worried here.  I'm not putting hope into anything, but I will assume that the noticeability of my progress will eventually catch up to me.  Eventually.

Tonight felt like a complete waste of time.  This whole project-- I don't know.  I rarely involve myself in simplicity.  This making a tulpa-- it's not something that's easy to do.  I envy people who can do it. 

I don't think I'm serious enough (or am I too serious?).  No.  My life is too full.  Even in the summer, I have plans tomorrow.  So I stress tonight.  From what I've learned, people cannot just get rid of something in their mind.  They must replace.  It works this way with habits, interests, friends, obsessions, and that occasional song that gets stuck in our heads.

What's in my head?

Anger, maybe?  It might be that letter I got.  They didn't hire me.  The interview went better than expected.  I was qualified.  I impressed the man on my right.  What happened next could mean different things to different people.  The man on my left wouldn't even look me in the eyes.  My mind plays it over and over.  I don't know what's going on in his life.  How tired he is.  Who I remind him of.  I don't know.  I have to use my imagination.  All I know is that by not crossing the social barrier by asking him up front, I have added another method of torture for use on myself.  This isn't the worst daymare in the book, but daymares are the only memories that stay.

I don't know how everyone else does it.  They make it look so easy.  I need to get more serious even when tulpae are created lightheartedly by others.

Progress:  It's hard to see where I'm at right now.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/68.html

66

Monday, May 28, 2012, 11:34AM

I won't be able to make a post on time later today, so I'll make it now.
Today, I will work on creating a general personality.  I have already explained the four traits:
Kindness
Intelligence
Thankfulness
Peace
I want to create a sort of visual representation of it then relate that to the physical appearance of my tulpa.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/67.html

65

Sunday, May 27, 2012, 10:35PM

Visualizing every now and again to keep the image fresh.  I am still speaking to my tulpa about everyday activities.  I'm not even sure if I am doing it right.  I cannot direct the words to a location, so it feels like I am directing them at myself.
I have that feeling I had in the beginning when I could not visualize.  It leaves me tired in my head.  My head is swarming with thoughts.  It feels like sending a message in a bottle.  What a waste of time.

Making wishes to create you.  Dropping words into a dark well.  How deep is is?  I will just speak into it until I am speaking into words.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/66.html

64

Saturday, May 26, 2012, 3:07PM

Schedule = messed up.  I am developing my tulpa's personality by narrating and making responses.  With the way things have been going, this is probably the wrong way (assuming there is a wrong way to make a tulpa).  I'll try out the new method at the end of the day.  So far, I've been visualizing in tiny bits all day.

3:33PM
Edit:  As I laid down to nap, I got a flashback of reading that I am NOT supposed to try to parrot answers and that when I get an answer back, I have created a tulpa.  Sorry-- I'm a little messed up.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/65.html

63

Friday, May 26, 2012, 11:30PM
Evidently, I can only type a title for a new post with a smartphone.  Nothing extreme happened, I don't think, so you didn't miss much.

Progress:  I am beginning personality while making finishing touches to the visual form of my tulpa.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/64.html

62

Thursday, May 24, 2012, 11:23PM

So...

I did tulpa things today.  I think I've established a good technique, but before I get to that, I've been researching and...

I've been doing it wrong.  I did not read enough guides for it to set in that I am not supposed to be bringing my tulpa into everyday activities until it is sentient.  I hope those few times I dabbled in it don't mess this up too much.

As for the technique:

I am still revising it.  It has something to do with the realistic vs artistic ways of thinking.  I've written the basics, but I would like to keep revising it for several days.  Go easy on this, as I tend to speak abstractly:

Throughout the entire day, I was visualizing while gardening, reading, and soaking up the... shade.  Just about everywhere I would normally hold a conversation with another person, I was visualizing in a way that didn't strain me.  I don't think I've always been able to think about something and read at the same time, but I did then as well.

There are two 'languages' of my brain.  Realistic and artistic.  When I am thinking realistically, I cannot for the life of me jump into meditation and concentrate on any detail of my tulpa.  That's where my painting skills come into play.  I think I can force myself to imagine my tulpa and wonderland as if it were in a dream.  You know when we are in dreams and are not at all put off by the blurriness of how everyone looks?  We would act as if everything was normal even when everything looked like it was painted with watercolor.  We are comfortable in this.

I once posted about how I was blown away at how vivid my visualization had become.  I think I've found a way to replicate it.  My theory is that this vividness is the drastic shift from artistic/unrealistic world to realistic world.  In order for this to work, I would need to be more or less convinced that the artistic thinking is normal.  Then, shortly after I am comfortable, I will make the switch to the realistic view.

Step 1: Constant visualization
Step 2: Become comfortable in visualization knowing that imperfections are normal.
Step 3: You should be relaxed and able to look your tulpa in the face without thinking or concentrating.
Step 4: Change the language of your brain.  Make your tulpa super realistic.  It should be easier.

This may be edited or expanded upon soon.  It doesn't look like it is in a format that can be followed.
Also, I have never successfully had a lucid dream, but I have done other experiments involving this sort of reality toggle.

Results may vary.  See box for details.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-do-not-have-internet-access-please.html

61

Wednesday, May 23, 2012, 11:37PM

I am tired, but proud of my pulsing cranium.  Features which were once hard to visualize are now easily seen in my mind's eye.  I think I finally figured out a shortcut, too.  A technique which I will test again tomorrow to verify.

Progress:  Tulpa is (today) easily visualized in my mind for multiple 'frames'.  I am experimenting with animating it a little.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/62.html

60

Tuesday, May 22, 2012, 11:09PM

Visualization is much clearer today.  Maybe it's the coffee and constant visualizing?

Progress:  Facial details less abstract.  Tulpa is still in head, little personality, and I am keeping an ear out for voices I like.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/61.html

59

Monday, May 21, 2012, 10:03PM

Blogception.
My ability to think is gone for some reason and I cannot visualize.  The only reasons I can think of are:
1.  I did not jog today.
2.  I meditated while lying on my back (gasp!).
3.  Daymares enjoy kicking my brain.

Speaking of weather*, today was cloudy with wind, but not too cold.  I meditated outside until the sun decided to roast me.  The second session was some time around 8PM.  I usually lean my back up against something to meditate, but this time I just laid on the floor.  I started to wonderland, but it ended up being an imaginary version of the room I was in (and after opening my eyes a few times accidentally, I didn't see the point in keeping it!).  On a completely different note, despite the blog's visit counter saying there are over 1000 views, chances are that if you are reading this, you are either me, Bluesleeve, or a search engine crawler.  Either way... quadruple digits!

*I did not previously speak of weather.  I just couldn't think of a transition**.

**Also known as a segue***.

***Often misspelled as segway****.

****I did all of this to insert an Inception joke.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/60.html

58

Sunday, May 20, 2012, 9:08PM

Plastic surgery.

Everything looks a little different each day.  Doesn't a person's perspective of an object change due to the amount of attention given to that object?  Don't we notice new details of our significant other no matter how much time is spent together?  Other variables come into account when we consider the awareness changes we experience throughout the day.  Lighting also highlights details we fail to see normally.

My tulpa looks different to me each day.  If the above is considered, this is no surprise.  Let me rephrase it:  My tulpa is recognizable, but approaches the border of being a different person each day.  Maybe I am experiencing the limits of my mind's recognition abilities or some other 'you need to tear muscles to grow them' sort of concept.

(At a reunion of some sorts)
Wow!  You've lost weight!

Maybe this isn't a big deal to other tulpa makers, but...
Not cool.

Progress:   My tulpa is in my head, some parroted personality, no sentience, and is basically a MadLib sheet waiting to be filled out.  I still cannot decide on a proper noun.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/59.html

57

Saturday, May 19, 2012, 10:48PM

I was talking to my pretulpa one day of how much I was fighting for this to work and of all the activities we could do together.  Anyway, I was running out of things to say.  What does everyone else talk about?  I ended up talking about talking, which turned out to be surprisingly deep.

We need to go deeper.

I think at my core, I am a very serious person.  I am fairly bitter and judgmental as well.  Maybe it is because I am success-oriented and rarely partake in fun activities unless they are productive.  Usually fun is not productive.  Perhaps people like me lighten up a little once they can say they excel at something.

Progress:  Tulpa is still in my head, but clearer each day.  See previous post... it's about the same.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/58.html

56

Friday, May 18, 2012, 10:21PM

I am jumping the gun here.  Feeling, narrating, and peripheral/real world visualizing.
Progress:  Tulpa's form is not concrete.  Visualizing is relatively simple.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/57.html

55

Thursday, May 17, 2012, 9:59PM

I am going to start incorporating my tulpa into my peripheral vision.  I may update later.  If not, I am playing cards longer than planned.

Progress:  I can visualize my tulpa in my head at any time, but it is still 'blurry'.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/56.html

54

Wednesday, May 16, 2012, 11:50PM

Progress:  Visualization was good in the morning, but worse in the evening.  I have a lot on my mind.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/55.html

53

Tuesday, May 15, 2012, 10:49PM

Today went well-- here's the lowdown:

Visualization grows exceptionally.  I am still indecisive about the form of my tulpa.  I have been struggling with what personality to force upon my tulpa.  I was thinking that, as far as what I stand for goes, I really don't like restrictions of freedom and would rather my tulpa naturally develop a personality from the four original traits (kindness, peacefulness, thankfulness, intelligence).  This said, I must not allow potentially harmful traits.  For example, I cannot allow my tulpa to have the 'adventurous' trait because that may lead to my tulpa trying to convince me to take risks I do not want to take.

Progress:  Tulpa is visible only by concept.  A silent, wise personality with no speaking, but (possibly) parroted reactions and acknowledgments of my existence.  Notice I did not mention warm-up time (the visualizing time when I wrestle those jittery line strings and try to make them stay put).  I can instantly warm up at the moment, thankyouverymuch.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/54.html

52

Monday, May 14, 2012, 9:40PM

Started meditating when it was light outside.  I opened my eyes again to find it night.  That was pretty cool.

I am so happy-- I don't know why!  I can't get rid of this goofy smile-- people must think I'm nuts...

My tulpa is very strange-- surprising no one.  My indecisive personality switches between two variants of the tulpa and I cannot decide what to do about it.  Each time, I think I learn/progress/achieve more than I have in my entire tulpa career.  It's not like I'm getting a little bit better each time.  It's not like a runner getting a few seconds faster each year.  I cannot think of anything in this world that grows at this rate and still has an unimaginable way to go.  I'm going from atoms to planets here.

On another note... the daymare of this session.  Don't read this if you can think of a reason not to read something gruesome.  There is some part of me that wants to subject me to past memories.  They are never good memories either.  I watched a video some time ago in which someone jumped off of a three-story building and survived.  That was the memory that played over and over.  Keep in mind that I have extreme empathy, so I felt the shocks in my bones.  After I surfaced from that daymare, the aftershocks came into effect.  I fell into that daymare again, but that curious part of my brain wondered how it would feel like to walk on broken legs.  Once I surfaced from it, all I heard was a broken record "Walk on broken legs."  I am literary-minded, so I imagined both myself walking with my legs broken and I imagined myself breaking the legs of others (keep in mind that I am not a violent person and would not think of these if I had a choice).

Progress:  Still in visualization stage.  I still battle concentration sickness and daymares.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/53.html

51

Sunday, May 13, 2012, 9:50PM

I tried to wonderland it, but I couldn't find an interesting enough way to get to the wonderland, so I ended up just doing normal visualization.  On the treadmill.  It keeps getting much clearer, but I know I am very far from my goal.  I will press onward!

Visualization:  It took me about 10 minutes to warm up after 15 or so minutes of a failed meditation attempt.  My tulpa is really changing its appearance... or I am.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/52.html

50

Saturday, May 12, 2012, 11:32PM

Post 50.  After a corny post, I had to delete it.  Don't worry-- it can be summarized with:

Nothing is worth doing alone.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/51.html

49

Friday, May 11, 2012, 11:46PM

Today's session:  I meditated twice today-- once while running and once while sitting.  When I tried to project imaginary hands to feel my tulpa, I got a better understanding of the shapes.

Entertainment:  How do I describe this?  My friend does not find this strange at all, but I feel like I am barging into a stranger's house when he leads me inside.  It feels like having permission to go into the opposite gender's restroom.
It's almost as awkward as when I don't know whether or not I've already told someone that I cannot remember the previous year.  Yes, it is the same friend.
Also, here is some amnesia adaptation I pulled recently:
Friend:  "Do you remember when (someone's name) (did something)?"
Me:  "I kind of remember that."  (No.  I just don't want to reroute the conversation.)

I have been thinking of how I should do the progress bar and I am a bit stumped.  There is no for-sure way I will know when I am 'halfway' finished with such tulpa elements as personality, visualization, and what not.  Instead, I will use words.  Let's just hope I have a way with words!

Visualization:  It takes me around 15 minutes to warm up-- wrestling with lines, proportions, locations.  Images are not vivid.  I have difficulty visualizing certain body parts.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/post-50.html

48

Thursday, May 10, 2012, 7:16PM

It begins.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/49.html

47

Wednesday, May 9, 2012, 11:20PM

I meditated a few times-- two?  Three?

My schedule is packed tomorrow, but I managed to schedule lunch with a friend.  This friend is close enough to me that going out to eat someplace is comfortable.  We have spent a fair amount of time doing stupid things like get on top of buildings at night.  The problem is that I don't remember doing any of it.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/47_10.html

46.2

Tuesday, May 8, 2012, 9:35PM

Just got done with my third session today.  This one was less than 20 minutes.  I did a sort of wonderland, though it was more of a representation of real life struggles.  I was digging my tulpa out of a grave, which probably represented me spending less time meditating.  Things tend to get in the way ("Life happens.")  My tulpa was still alive and I was digging away wet dirt with my hands.  My instincts kicked into 'life saver' mode and I really got into the wonderland because all I could think about was what was in front of me (perhaps I should replicate this?).  My tulpa said something to me, but by the time I type this, I will have forgotten.  It was something along the lines of me not having control-- I was on top of my tulpa while digging, so it was counterproductive, so I took control of the wonderland and floated.  When I realized I had control, I stopped digging with my hands and willed the dirt away.  Then my roommate turned the light on.  Also, I feel concentration sickness.  I might have just meditated and described this in full detail just to procrastinate on studying inverse matrices and chemistry.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/47.html

46

Tuesday, May 8, 2012, 3:54PM

When I finished meditating for the first time this morning, I realized that I can visualize in five minutes what used to take me about thirty, though it is still not as vivid as I want it to be and I cannot focus on the whole image at once.  I am still taking small sessions.  Sorry to cut off short, but I've got to study for a few finals tomorrow.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/462.html

45

Monday, May 7, 2012, 11:06PM

It looks like I couldn't even get a half-hour in today.
(Sorry-- I will be done with the school semester on Wednesday.)

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/46.html

44

Sunday, May 6, 2012, 11:38PM

A hectic day.  I found out there is something clicking around in my head while running, so think I'll take a break from anything physical for a while.  I tend to stretch my back like a cat, so maybe that's it?  I have various theories.
I did not meditate much today BUT THAT'S OKAY!  I am busy when in college, so I shall not feel bad.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/45.html

43

Saturday, May 5, 2012, 11:03pm

No breakthroughs as far as meditating goes.  I tried to do the whole 'meditate near someone' deal, but it didn't go as well as expected.  This means I have to write about something else to compensate for a boring post.
I went to talk with a few people about tulpas and they say that visualizing is easy.  I asked if they had to manipulate lines and colors-- I guess that's only me.  I feel like I meet resistance.  It's like I have to pull at the lines, but they snap back into their original position.
My tulpa, you are half a world away...

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/44.html

42

Friday, May 4, 2012, 11:23PM

Summer approaches.  I have about a week until I can start meditating for real.

I've been told that if we have positive expectations, then the outcome will probably be positive.  It's not in my 'culture' to think that way, though.  I tend to think of the good as well as the bad in order to be as scientific, unbiased, and neutral as possible.  Since I don't have much to say about the previous meditations (although I am still trying out multiple 20-minute sessions), I will lay out the best-case and worst-case scenario of what I think could be possible as an outcome of this life-changing experiment.

The good:
If all goes well, I will be able to remember my childhood, recite pages of read books, and have a great friend to talk to who knows me like none other.  Getting together with other tulpa makers (around 20 years old) in real life.

The bad:
You will probably not ever hear what happens to me, but if I ever just stop blogging all of the sudden... you can use your imagination.  Insanity due to restructuring of the brain.  Mental torment due to a jerk tulpa.  A rush of all of my current mental torments flooding me at the same time.  Enlightenment to a level so high that I do something absurd like change personalities for the worse or go insane.  I will spend too much time away from real people.

The reality:
In reality, I believe that my tulpa may, if my Theory of Love is correct, decrease the chances of meeting that right romantic someone.  Then again, it is not in my 'culture' to appreciate the concept of marriage severing and severing ties with friends, so maybe not.
Supposedly, tulpa arguments are a common, normal part of the relationship.
In reality, I am extremely skeptic about the whole 'I can recite lines from a book'.  In reality, I am kind of okay with the risk of tulpa-related erasure in the sense of the optimistic 'my burdens will be taken away'. 

Imprisoned... inside this mind... hiding behind the empty smiles.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/43.html

41

Thursday, May 3, 2012, 11:48PM

I only did a half-hour due to poor planning on my part.  I could have meditated in the morning, but I put it off until I was mentally wasted.

It's funny-- right now I am sitting next to someone with photographic memory.  I'll get there.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/42.html

40.2

Wednesday, May 2, 2012, 11:18PM

I just got done with an hour of meditation-- this time without reference pictures, earplugs, or headphones.

It went well!  I lasted until I got the beginning of concentration sickness.  I tried to make a new scene (wonderland, if you will) to mix it up a little.  I did not get too creative, though.  I walked around in an imaginary body and visited my tulpa, who I still cannot see clearly.

I got a crazy idea today.  I thought of a grand finale of sorts in which I would take meditation to the extreme by trying to do it as long as I could (with necessary breaks of course).  I'm talking all day-- being in extreme focus for a few hours only to surface-- taking a bite from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich-- then submerging back into meditation.  It would be nice to record it as well.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/41.html

40

Wednesday, May 2, 2012, 1:05PM

I would like to point out that even though I am passionately narrow-minded and picky in tulpa creation, I fall out of that mindset.
Here's what I mean:  All this time, I have been focusing on basically one 'look' for my tulpa.  I might have a phenomenal idea now and again, but I don't stray far away from what I have been focusing on all this time.  Part of being unmovable on my tulpa's looks may be because it took such a long time to find the face(s) I wanted to 'steal' or the time I have invested so far.  When I do feel like straying, I feel bad because I think being unsatisfied and picky can say a lot about other relationships-- especially with friends and significant others.
"Don't you like me the way I am?"
"If I didn't, I would have changed you already."
The above sounds very shallow.
However, I like to think on both sides of the argument.  I will categorize two kinds of changes:
Aesthetic
Personality
I believe that it is okay to change your tulpa's hair color before the tulpa has a personality.  Afterwards, it would be sort of like dying someone's hair while they slept.  That's just selfish.  I would probably ask first.
Personality, however, can get into philosophy.  Is it a different tulpa if the creator changes its personality?  I believe that memories make up a person.  Same experiences = same person.
Basically, respect your tulpa's rights.  If your tulpa likes its personality, have a long discussion with him/her about changing it instead of forcing it.  I am not a fan of philosophy, as I am science-minded, so I could be wrong.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/402.html

39

Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 10:41PM

I started on my tulpa just to get a head start.  Give myself a little leeway.  If I made mistakes, I wouldn't beat myself up.  I never thought I would get this far.  I'm gagging.  I have tears in my eyes.  Dear God.

When people would say, "Imagine this...", I only thought I was seeing the image in my mind.  Let me tell you-- I have redefined vivid.  I am getting to the point where I don't work my mind-- my mind works for me.  I close my eyes and a hundred invisible hands sketch a picture.  I stared at it.  Just to make sure it was real.  I didn't even try.  I have always heard that the brain is like a muscle, but this is incredible.  Am I easily impressed?  I am.  This is nothing.  I am not even close to my final goal.

Let me give you the rundown of as many variables of the equation as I can:
I am on coffee again.  Also, lots of water.
I have not exercised.
I am hungry.
I didn't do much thinking today (napping in class, taking an easy chemistry test... what? Chemistry is easy!)
I have just responded to a stressful summer internship decision with extreme apathy.  Even though I had my doubts, I was relieved to find out that one of my old best friends still likes me despite our differences.  Clearing this up was like removing a weight from my shoulders.  After all of the strangely coincidental (okay, two) resolutions, I am refreshed.  I don't have a lot on my mind.
It is raining.  I blocked out lightning with blankets to window.  The room was dark enough that I could not adjust my eyes.
Music: one hour of MeditativeVisualization.  It is in the tulpaforce tumbler blog.
Earplugs under headphones.  I have insane hearing, so I can still hear the rain through everything.
I referenced the picture more than I ever have before-- keeping it before me for when I would lose it.
I did what was comfortable.  If I had an itch, I scratched it.  If my hair got in my face, I blew it away with an expertly-fired puff of air.  There was the slight taste of toothpaste in my mouth, so I got up a few minutes in to rinse.
Just before the intense visualization, I analyzed the basic line structure of the figure and applied it by using my eyes to draw it over a real-life reference picture.  Close eyes and 'draw' the lines in as few strokes as possible over the (crude, in my case) reference image you are imagining.

If you require additional details or need it explained differently, I check on this blog at least twice a day.

http://wintrovert.blogspot.com/2012/05/40.html